Based on a grindhouse-style movie trailer screened at SXSW's 2007 competition, Hobo with a Shotgun is coming soon to a theater near you.
NSFW trailers after the jump.
Nerd Girl In the Dark:
My Life as a Movie-Obsessed Nerd Girl
September 4, 2010
Hauer is a Hobo With a Shotgun
August 16, 2010
In Defense of Chris Nolan
Look, I'm a proud feminist. So when I watch a movie I tend to consider the role of women in that movie. Are they just bitchy girlfriends? Are they tacked on love interests to garner a female audience? Are they "fridged"?
Recently Chris Nolan's come under fire for the fate of his films'female characters. And I got to say, his critics are talking out of context.
The first I read was on Feministing, where the blogger asserts that Moll, dead wife of the protagonist Cobb, is a typical "hysterical wife" and criticizes Nolan for it. Well, major SPOILERS (for most of Nolan's films and Braveheart) ahead.
The biggest problem with this statement is that Moll isn't a character – she's a figment of his imagination. She's his guilt and anger over his wife's death twisted into his subconscious antagonist. So yeah – she's hysterical – but she's not real, as Cobb himself states in the film's conclusion.
Then Jezebel criticized most of his career in another out of context scenario. They looked at the female characters in Memento, Insomnia, Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, The Prestige and Inception, then tallied who was an antagonist and who was dead. Yep lots of these ladies suffer and die – but you know what? Most of the male characters do too. Nolan makes dark dramas where nearly everyone pays a high price – often death. And to take the women out of the context of these films is to skew the perspective. It's cheating to be provocative. 'Oh everyone is rushing to see Inception? Let's twist it to be controversial so I can draw attention to my blog!'
This especially bums me out because I like Feministing. They are better than this ploy – though admittedly new to film criticism.
Anyway, back to Jezebel. If you don't know about fridgeing, here's the definition they provide:
"fridge, v. to kill off a female character solely for the purpose of giving the story's main male hero a reason to angst. Coined by Gail Simone in response to a storyline in The Green Lantern in which the hero's girlfriend is killed and literally stuffed in his refrigerator. In 1999, Simone started a website, Women in Refrigerators, that lists all of the comic book women who have been fridged."
I'm totally on board that it is incredibly frustrating as a female audience member to see women in the plot of a story (film, comic or otherwise) only so they can die and inspire the man to rise above as a dark avenger. Like in Braveheart, which a demented teacher showed my freshman class to teach us about love. Call me nutty, but when I think romance I don't think of getting raped and murdered and having my death avenged by my husband mooning my murderers and starting a war.
Anyhow, I'm on board with the objection to fridging females. However, I don't think Nolan's as guilty as they make him seem.
In Memento, Carrie-Ann Moss (Trinity from the Matrix films) plays Natalie, a bartender whose beau is missing when the memory-challenged Leonard ambles into her bar in her man's clothes. Natalie manipulates the protagonist to her own goals, and lives though Jezebel claims she's an evil femme fatale. Problem is - all the people in the movie manipulate Leonard to their own ends. Teddy uses him as a hit man, Natalie uses him to get Dodd off her back, and even the (male) hotel manager uses him by renting him a room he doesn't remember to make a few extra bucks. Manipulation is not a female trait in this noir – it's a survival skill in the underbelly. Thereby, faulting Natalie alone is unfair.
Jezebel goes on to site Sammy Jankis' wife and Leonard's own wife - both who die at the hands of their husbands. Well, first off – it's inaccurate to count them as separate characters, because at the film's end we learn that Leonard's wife was the one who died by an insulin OD – we're told Jankis never had a wife. Admittedly, she is never a fully developed character – yep, we never learn her name – but like Inception's Moll, she's not a person, she's a fractured memory. She's Mrs. Jankis, she's the perfect wife, she's a rape victim, she's the woman he couldn't save and now can't remember. She's a ghost. Writing her off as a dead wife is a disservice to the film and the complexity of what is essentially the protagonist's motivation.
Then the post notes Memento fails the Bechdel Test, which they also define:
"The Bechdel Test: a litmus test developed by writer Alison Bechdel in 1985 to gauge the agency and autonomy of a story's characters. The test has three parts: 1) Are there two female characters who 2) talk to each other 3) about something other than a man?"
But the whole film has thirteen characters, most of whom only speak to Leonard. It's his story. To me, this film's a good argument for the limitations of the Bechdel Test, which while well-intentioned is incredibly short sighted. (What is a film only has five characters? Why can't women be autonomous when discussing men? Why is a woman autonomous only if she speaks to another female?)
Jezebel's goes on to criticize Insomnia claiming its female lead is smart but an antagonist. I'd argue she's a foil to the old guard Pacino character, and the fact that she's a woman is a positive thing. As Jezebel points out she's "the only one sharp enough to catch the mistakes that Dormer made in his cover-up. Despite getting no backup from the rest of the local cops, who call her 'Nancy Drew,' she solves the mystery on her own and is the only one left standing as the credits roll. Technically she's an antagonist for the main character, but she's a principled one with plenty of agency." They seem to lessen her appeal as a strong female character because she causes troubles for the anti-hero male lead. I don't understand the logic there, personally. They also write off a character as a "whore." Very progressive.
Now, as far as the Batman movies, Jezebel likes the portrayal of Rachel Dawes as a strong female (Bechdel test be damned!) but faults Nolan for killing her in the second movie. I get it – it smells of fridging because it tortures Bruce Wayne and is large part of why Harvey Dent becomes Two-Face. However, Rachel is more than a tool of a man's torment – she was also a big part of why each man esteemed to be great men. Both aimed for her approval because she was so noble. Plus, despite being a clear love interest for the protagonist, she's not one obsessed by love, but rather driven to pursue justice in her city. No points for that?
Jezebel then sites roles that were practically under fives: Detective Ramirez – who betrays Jim Gordon (though not the only one – there was a male cop too!) And Jim
Gordan's wife – who they call a Madonna as she is only presented as wife and mother, and his daughter who is credited as Gordon's Daughter. I have my own theory about the daughter (fingers crossed for Bat Girl in the next flick!) but ultimately these are small roles that don't require definition. The movie's too long as it is.
Then there's The Prestige. You know what, I agree with Jezebel on this one. It's a dumb movie and the women only exist to flit about in revealing clothes and/or be killed. But most importantly – it's a badly written story. Fuckin' twins. Seriously?
And back to Inception. Like Feministing, Jezebel points out Moll's hysteria, and say some of the time she's not real, sometimes it's flashbacks. But the film's established that memories are unreliable in dreams, so the remembered Moll isn't her either. She's a shattered reflection of the women Cobb loved. All that remains are the fond memories to torture him and the projection of his guilt who wants him to suffer – because he feels he deserves it. Which, come on – he does.
Then there's Ariadne, who Jezebel likes. She's smart, and set up as an even better architect than Cobb ever was. (To me she's a lot like the lady detective in Insomnia to that degree). Jezebel says:
"She's the ultimate example of woman-as-conscience, persistently pushing Cobb to face his demons. Ultimately she's the one who completes the job they were hired to do, by shooting shade-Mal and literally drop-kicking Fischer out of Limbo. As the newest teammember, she's a stand-in for the audience, asking all the questions we're wondering; though Cobb is the main character, we're meant to identify with level-headed Ariadne. However, she is still a prop to Cobb's emotional and physical journey. We do see her 'die' at one point, stabbed by Mal no less. On the scale of Christopher Nolan movies, she's pretty damn good, but he's still got a long way to go."
Cobb may push the plot but Ariadne gives the film heart. She's the film's hero – though not its protagonist. She saves the damn day for most of the crew! And…it's not enough.
Yeah, Jezebel's stats are shocking. And yes – I am totally for more female characters in films. But I don't think Nolan's the one to attack. His film's actually have interesting female characters who push the plot forward while being relatable, and they are well-structured films that are financially successful. To me, this is The Daily Show argument all over again. And it makes the lot of us who are feminists and film fans look bad.
Jezebel concludes with this:
"Again, let me be clear that I am a fan of Nolan. I belive {spelling error hers} he's a visionary. But speaking as a woman who watches his movies, I find myself longing to see someone like me onscreen, who doesn't die horribly. I want to believe that he is better than this. I want to believe that he just hasn't been challenged on it yet. / Consider this your gauntlet, Mr. Nolan."
I too like Nolan. But, I accept that his films are dark and are often about death. And not just lady death. Men in Memento manipulate – as do women. Men in Insomnia are majorly flawed, but a female detective figures out the mystery and lives to tell the tale – what she decides to tell is in her power. The Batman films present a strong female character, who unlike her predecessor (I'm looking at you Vicki Vale), don't just scream and faint, but pursues justice and fights crime. The Prestige is dumb. But Inception in a deeply interesting story he spent ten years on. I think we as viewers are just beginning to scratch the surface. So, writing it off as another fridging story doesn't just hurt Nolan's rep or the film's box office, it hurts filmmaking.
I'm asking we look at context before we criticize. And put your money where your mouth is. Support films with strong females – like Kick-Ass, Salt or The Kids Are Alright. Because Hollywood doesn't give a shit about blogs; they do care about the bottom line.
How's that for a gauntlet, ladies?
~Movie Nerd Girl
Note: Jezebel reposted from Gadzooks. I'm referencing Jezebel b/c they tend to court controversy over film criticism.
Recently Chris Nolan's come under fire for the fate of his films'female characters. And I got to say, his critics are talking out of context.
The first I read was on Feministing, where the blogger asserts that Moll, dead wife of the protagonist Cobb, is a typical "hysterical wife" and criticizes Nolan for it. Well, major SPOILERS (for most of Nolan's films and Braveheart) ahead.
The biggest problem with this statement is that Moll isn't a character – she's a figment of his imagination. She's his guilt and anger over his wife's death twisted into his subconscious antagonist. So yeah – she's hysterical – but she's not real, as Cobb himself states in the film's conclusion.
Then Jezebel criticized most of his career in another out of context scenario. They looked at the female characters in Memento, Insomnia, Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, The Prestige and Inception, then tallied who was an antagonist and who was dead. Yep lots of these ladies suffer and die – but you know what? Most of the male characters do too. Nolan makes dark dramas where nearly everyone pays a high price – often death. And to take the women out of the context of these films is to skew the perspective. It's cheating to be provocative. 'Oh everyone is rushing to see Inception? Let's twist it to be controversial so I can draw attention to my blog!'
This especially bums me out because I like Feministing. They are better than this ploy – though admittedly new to film criticism.
Anyway, back to Jezebel. If you don't know about fridgeing, here's the definition they provide:
"fridge, v. to kill off a female character solely for the purpose of giving the story's main male hero a reason to angst. Coined by Gail Simone in response to a storyline in The Green Lantern in which the hero's girlfriend is killed and literally stuffed in his refrigerator. In 1999, Simone started a website, Women in Refrigerators, that lists all of the comic book women who have been fridged."
I'm totally on board that it is incredibly frustrating as a female audience member to see women in the plot of a story (film, comic or otherwise) only so they can die and inspire the man to rise above as a dark avenger. Like in Braveheart, which a demented teacher showed my freshman class to teach us about love. Call me nutty, but when I think romance I don't think of getting raped and murdered and having my death avenged by my husband mooning my murderers and starting a war.
Anyhow, I'm on board with the objection to fridging females. However, I don't think Nolan's as guilty as they make him seem.
In Memento, Carrie-Ann Moss (Trinity from the Matrix films) plays Natalie, a bartender whose beau is missing when the memory-challenged Leonard ambles into her bar in her man's clothes. Natalie manipulates the protagonist to her own goals, and lives though Jezebel claims she's an evil femme fatale. Problem is - all the people in the movie manipulate Leonard to their own ends. Teddy uses him as a hit man, Natalie uses him to get Dodd off her back, and even the (male) hotel manager uses him by renting him a room he doesn't remember to make a few extra bucks. Manipulation is not a female trait in this noir – it's a survival skill in the underbelly. Thereby, faulting Natalie alone is unfair.
Jezebel goes on to site Sammy Jankis' wife and Leonard's own wife - both who die at the hands of their husbands. Well, first off – it's inaccurate to count them as separate characters, because at the film's end we learn that Leonard's wife was the one who died by an insulin OD – we're told Jankis never had a wife. Admittedly, she is never a fully developed character – yep, we never learn her name – but like Inception's Moll, she's not a person, she's a fractured memory. She's Mrs. Jankis, she's the perfect wife, she's a rape victim, she's the woman he couldn't save and now can't remember. She's a ghost. Writing her off as a dead wife is a disservice to the film and the complexity of what is essentially the protagonist's motivation.
Then the post notes Memento fails the Bechdel Test, which they also define:
"The Bechdel Test: a litmus test developed by writer Alison Bechdel in 1985 to gauge the agency and autonomy of a story's characters. The test has three parts: 1) Are there two female characters who 2) talk to each other 3) about something other than a man?"
But the whole film has thirteen characters, most of whom only speak to Leonard. It's his story. To me, this film's a good argument for the limitations of the Bechdel Test, which while well-intentioned is incredibly short sighted. (What is a film only has five characters? Why can't women be autonomous when discussing men? Why is a woman autonomous only if she speaks to another female?)
Jezebel's goes on to criticize Insomnia claiming its female lead is smart but an antagonist. I'd argue she's a foil to the old guard Pacino character, and the fact that she's a woman is a positive thing. As Jezebel points out she's "the only one sharp enough to catch the mistakes that Dormer made in his cover-up. Despite getting no backup from the rest of the local cops, who call her 'Nancy Drew,' she solves the mystery on her own and is the only one left standing as the credits roll. Technically she's an antagonist for the main character, but she's a principled one with plenty of agency." They seem to lessen her appeal as a strong female character because she causes troubles for the anti-hero male lead. I don't understand the logic there, personally. They also write off a character as a "whore." Very progressive.
Now, as far as the Batman movies, Jezebel likes the portrayal of Rachel Dawes as a strong female (Bechdel test be damned!) but faults Nolan for killing her in the second movie. I get it – it smells of fridging because it tortures Bruce Wayne and is large part of why Harvey Dent becomes Two-Face. However, Rachel is more than a tool of a man's torment – she was also a big part of why each man esteemed to be great men. Both aimed for her approval because she was so noble. Plus, despite being a clear love interest for the protagonist, she's not one obsessed by love, but rather driven to pursue justice in her city. No points for that?
Jezebel then sites roles that were practically under fives: Detective Ramirez – who betrays Jim Gordon (though not the only one – there was a male cop too!) And Jim
Gordan's wife – who they call a Madonna as she is only presented as wife and mother, and his daughter who is credited as Gordon's Daughter. I have my own theory about the daughter (fingers crossed for Bat Girl in the next flick!) but ultimately these are small roles that don't require definition. The movie's too long as it is.
Then there's The Prestige. You know what, I agree with Jezebel on this one. It's a dumb movie and the women only exist to flit about in revealing clothes and/or be killed. But most importantly – it's a badly written story. Fuckin' twins. Seriously?
And back to Inception. Like Feministing, Jezebel points out Moll's hysteria, and say some of the time she's not real, sometimes it's flashbacks. But the film's established that memories are unreliable in dreams, so the remembered Moll isn't her either. She's a shattered reflection of the women Cobb loved. All that remains are the fond memories to torture him and the projection of his guilt who wants him to suffer – because he feels he deserves it. Which, come on – he does.
Then there's Ariadne, who Jezebel likes. She's smart, and set up as an even better architect than Cobb ever was. (To me she's a lot like the lady detective in Insomnia to that degree). Jezebel says:
"She's the ultimate example of woman-as-conscience, persistently pushing Cobb to face his demons. Ultimately she's the one who completes the job they were hired to do, by shooting shade-Mal and literally drop-kicking Fischer out of Limbo. As the newest teammember, she's a stand-in for the audience, asking all the questions we're wondering; though Cobb is the main character, we're meant to identify with level-headed Ariadne. However, she is still a prop to Cobb's emotional and physical journey. We do see her 'die' at one point, stabbed by Mal no less. On the scale of Christopher Nolan movies, she's pretty damn good, but he's still got a long way to go."
Cobb may push the plot but Ariadne gives the film heart. She's the film's hero – though not its protagonist. She saves the damn day for most of the crew! And…it's not enough.
Yeah, Jezebel's stats are shocking. And yes – I am totally for more female characters in films. But I don't think Nolan's the one to attack. His film's actually have interesting female characters who push the plot forward while being relatable, and they are well-structured films that are financially successful. To me, this is The Daily Show argument all over again. And it makes the lot of us who are feminists and film fans look bad.
Jezebel concludes with this:
"Again, let me be clear that I am a fan of Nolan. I belive {spelling error hers} he's a visionary. But speaking as a woman who watches his movies, I find myself longing to see someone like me onscreen, who doesn't die horribly. I want to believe that he is better than this. I want to believe that he just hasn't been challenged on it yet. / Consider this your gauntlet, Mr. Nolan."
I too like Nolan. But, I accept that his films are dark and are often about death. And not just lady death. Men in Memento manipulate – as do women. Men in Insomnia are majorly flawed, but a female detective figures out the mystery and lives to tell the tale – what she decides to tell is in her power. The Batman films present a strong female character, who unlike her predecessor (I'm looking at you Vicki Vale), don't just scream and faint, but pursues justice and fights crime. The Prestige is dumb. But Inception in a deeply interesting story he spent ten years on. I think we as viewers are just beginning to scratch the surface. So, writing it off as another fridging story doesn't just hurt Nolan's rep or the film's box office, it hurts filmmaking.
I'm asking we look at context before we criticize. And put your money where your mouth is. Support films with strong females – like Kick-Ass, Salt or The Kids Are Alright. Because Hollywood doesn't give a shit about blogs; they do care about the bottom line.
How's that for a gauntlet, ladies?
~Movie Nerd Girl
Note: Jezebel reposted from Gadzooks. I'm referencing Jezebel b/c they tend to court controversy over film criticism.
Labels:
Batman,
Chris Nolan,
Dark Knight,
feminism,
Inception,
Insomnia,
Memento,
The Prestige
July 27, 2010
As Himself
We've discussed Mel Gibson going crazy at his lady. Well, in his next film he plays a man who is crazy for his beaver. Oh my.
Sometimes actors often seem to play themselves on screen. Some have even played themselves. And a few have even been awesome at it. And here they are:
Top 5 Self-Portrayals
#5
Neil Patrick Harris in Harold and Kumar (2004 & 2008)
I'm a big fan. Doogie Howser, Starship Troopers, How I Met Your Mother, or Doctor Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog – you name it, I dig it. In the smartest stoner movies you're likely to see, Harris' parody of child star celebs hits all the key points: drug-fueled and violent sex-crazed maniac. This wild NPH - beloved by frat boys the world over - is a drastic contrast to Harris' real life persona – beloved by gays and girls the world over - as the openly gay actor/singer who hosted the Tony Awards in 2009 and recently appeared in an Aerosmith sing-off in Glee. Harris' biggest real-life scandal involved his critical comments on stunt-casting Britney Spears on HIMYM. (He said the show was better than this gimmick – he was right.)
Ultimately, for his willingness to make a world class ass of himself, NPH gets my #5 spot.
#4
Dean Martin in Kiss Me, Stupid (1964.)
For those of you not in love with Classic Hollywood and the cinema therein, let me tell you a little something about Dean Martin. Martin was a world renowned singer and comedian. He was high class and all-around sexy man, known for his fervent taste for and love of women and alcohol. And in Billy Wilder's sex comedy, he apes both for laughs. In Kiss Me, Stupid, Martin plays "Dino," a heavy-drinking celebrity singer headed to LA, who is stuck in Climax, Nevada while his car is being repaired.
The plot revolves around an aspiring song writer who wants to sell songs to Dino without losing his wife to the drunkard Lothario. A Shakespearean ruse of wife-swapping is employed and hilarity and sexcapades ensue.
Often playing a lover (That's My Boy) or a drunk (Rio Bravo), Martin's roles seem to have an Ourobos effect on his persona. But in Kiss Me, Stupid Martin is flat-out playing a caricature of himself. Give him a bottle of wine and a blonde and you'll have him happy. He's a cad in Kiss Me, and it makes for a meta good time.
Top 3 after the jump!
Labels:
Cold Souls,
Dean Martin,
Harold and Kumar,
JCVD,
Jean Claude Van Damme,
John Malkovich,
Kiss Me Stupid,
Mel Gibson,
Neil Patrick Harris,
Paul Giamatti
July 22, 2010
Looking Back on ‘09
In general, I’ve been catching up on podcasts. Specifically I've been hitting The /Filmcast podcast hard. And listening to some of my favorite movie nerds hash out flicks made me consider:
My Favorites Films of 2009
(In no particular order)
(In no particular order)
The Hurt Locker made independently because director Kathryn Bigelow demanded to shoot on location in the Middle East. (The studio’s refused because of insurance costs.) The metaphorical balls it took to make this movie is worth noting. But "balls" aside, Bigelow made a classic Hollywood film. The Hurt Locker is a western in the vein of John Wayne. William James is a cowboy who rolls into town and plays by his own rules to save the day – defusing bombs. Notably, the film alternates between reveling in his antics and pulling us into his despair. When James can’t be a hero, he’s lost. Admittedly, the grocery store sequence at the film’s end, risks cliché but transcends it with Jeremy Renner’s outstanding performance. He created a complex character I was afraid of but feared for. And I loved this movie despite a long-standing ambivalence toward war movies. Not my speed.
But The Hurt Locker grabbed me and didn’t let up. Special props to the cinematography. By using a high-speed camera (the kind typically used in hair commercials to make those graceful hair flips oh-so-slow and glamorous), Bigelow showed the violence of the bombs in a way audiences haven’t seen before. It didn’t feel like spectacular Michael Bay style BOOM BOOM! Instead it felt real and dangerous. The opening sequence establishes the turf of these men expertly. And I think The Hurt Locker will always speak of this time, when we played as cowboys on the world stage. The Hurt Locker won the Oscar for Best picture and Best Director among a slew of other awards and deserved them all.
If you like the Hurt Locker, try My Country, My Country. American documentarian Laura Poitras spent 8 months in Baghdad following an Iraqi doctor and his family culminating in the first election following Saddam’s fall. It’s gutsy, engaging and pitch perfect.
Food Inc. made by the authors of Fast Food Nation and The Omnivore’s Dilemma, is a sharp and smart revelation about the history of food production in the US and where we are now. I don’t want to spoil it for anyone, but see this movie. There are things therein you should know. And my favorite aspect is that after Pollan and Scholsser lay down all kinds of heavy truths, they tell you how you can make a difference. And it’s easy: put your money where your mouth is. The Cove took home the Oscar, but Food Inc.’s my personal pick for best doc of ’09.
If you like Food Inc. try The Cove. I prefer Food Inc, for sheer relevance to my life, but The Cove’s a damn fine doc about a shocking event. It plays like Ocean’s 11, and has an ending that is more horrifying than many horror flicks. Not for the faint of heart.
(500) Days of Summer feels like it was made just for me. Sassy trash-mouth girl child? Check. Karaoke of Nancy Sinatra’s "Sugar Town?" Check. Impromptu musical number? Check. Indie it kids Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt? Double check. (The soundtrack alone had me giddy.) I’ve watched this movie more than any other on this list. It’s like candy. Sweet and addictive.
If you like (500) Days of Summer, try Adam - a quirky romantic dramedy about a young man (played by Hugh Dancy) with Asperger's syndrome and his first love. Like (500), Adam is a bittersweet love story about growing up. Totally worth your rental dollars.
(The rest after the jump!)
Labels:
(500) Days of Summer,
Adam,
Cold Souls,
Fantastic Mr. Fox,
Food Inc,
Hurt Locker,
In The Loop,
Inglourious Basterds,
My Country My Country,
Shaun of the Dead,
The Cove,
Up,
Up In The Air,
Zombieland
July 16, 2010
Operation Exodus: Rocket to the Sun
So, Mel Gibson has shot his mouth off again, and some are shocked, while I'm bored.
He’s been bat-shit crazy for nearly a decade now.
But it's made me think back on the people who have retroactively ruined things for me by doing something so dumb/despicable that it taints everything they’ve ever done. Ruining everything forever. Jerks.
So, here it is:
TOP FIVE TOXIC CELEBRITIES
#5
Zach Braff
Crimes: Douchebaggery to nth degree.
He was fun on Scrubs, and Garden State was ok (I take issue that in the third act, it switches from coming-of-age story to love story. He's a manchild! Stay away, helmet girl! You have enough to deal with!)
But living in NY, I know a lot of actresses, thereby - I know a lot of hostesses/waitresses/baristas/etc. And after he became a big man, he acted like a big dick to just about every woman in the service industry in the five boroughs. And the word came out loud and strong: Braff is a royal asshole. More specifically, the kind of asshole who stares at your tits and then says things like, “You know who I am. Want to go somewhere?”
But living in NY, I know a lot of actresses, thereby - I know a lot of hostesses/waitresses/baristas/etc. And after he became a big man, he acted like a big dick to just about every woman in the service industry in the five boroughs. And the word came out loud and strong: Braff is a royal asshole. More specifically, the kind of asshole who stares at your tits and then says things like, “You know who I am. Want to go somewhere?”
The Last Straw: Cheating on Mandy Moore. You bastard.
What I miss most: Arrested Development’s “S.O.B.” and “Spring Break.” Here he plays a Never-Nude Joe Francis creeper. Too close for comfort.
Silver Lining: It’s not hard to avoid Zach Braff because most of his projects are awful anyway. (Second billing of this winner went to a member of the Real World. Score!)
#4
John Mayer
Crimes: Pseudo-intellectualism. Manchild sexism masquerading as being a hopeless romantic.
I was admittedly never a big John Mayer fan, but his stuff was cute and catchy. And hey, I’m a girl. But then he started talking and wouldn't stop!
Final Straw: In Rolling Stone, he explained he wasn’t afraid to commit he just hadn’t yet met the perfect woman. You know, the one with “The Joshua Tree of vaginas.”
What I miss most: John Mayer on Chappelle's Show. Us white people do love guitar rifts.
Silver Lining: Mayer-hating is a deeply satisfying ladies’ night activity. (Tip for Men: Sweatpants are never appealing. Not EVER.)
#3
Lindsay Lohan
Crimes: Descending from promising child actress/possible role-model to total hot mess.
She’s such a trainwreck it’s distracting to all her flicks. It’s like the time I saw Paper Moon at a revival screening a few years back and Tatum O’Neal made a special appearance to introduce the film. As she got up on stage to talk for a bit about making the movie – which made her famous – which inspired her dad to use her to get into Hollywood parties and fuck starlets – which led to her feeling alone/betrayed – which led to her becoming a junkie - one astute audience member whispered, “Her life is so sad.” Yep. And it taints the whole movie - sad. So, how, I ask you can I ever enjoy the Lilo canon ever again?
The Last Straw: Her leggings line has a pair called “Mr. President” with kneepads sewn on (just $132!) There’s so much here that irks me it’s best we just move on.
What I miss most: Mean Girls. She nailed being the nerd girl outsider.
Silver Lining: Fellow Mean Girls Rachel McAdams, Amanda Seyfried and Lizzy Caplan took the ball and ran with it, being awesome non-trainwrecks! Watch your back, indeed.
(Top 2 after the jump!)
(Top 2 after the jump!)
Labels:
Arrested Development,
Douchebaggery,
John Mayer,
Kittens,
Lindsay Lohan,
Lizzy Caplan,
Mel Gibson,
South Park,
Sugar Tits,
Tom Cruise
July 15, 2010
Hey there.
I’ve been a movie-obsessed since I was in diapers. Glued to any kind of behind-the-scenes footage. Clamoring for any interview about production secrets. I geeked-out when DVDs made Director’s Commentary a common occurrence. And for as long as I could talk, I talked about movies. Loudly and with fervor.
As a kid, my favorites were action/adventure flicks like the Batman movies, Indiana Jones, Crocodile Dundee or anything with Muppets. As a teen, I grew a deep-seated love for independent movies because of their ability to rattle and surprise me, and became obsessed with horror movies – The Good (Halloween), The Bad (Jack Frost), and the Ugly/Gross (Evil Dead 2). In college, I learned to love westerns, and to seek out women’s films. And with every new genre, came new films for me to love/hate/obsess over.
So here I am. A long-time movie nerd, whose obsession/love only grows.
And I never did learn to keep my opinions to myself.
~Movie Nerd Girl
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)